Dust to dust…
Earth to earth…
…everything has its nature
…nothing can oppose it…
It’s been two years since I saw you. Normally, it’s quite time to know each other, but during these time you barely know anything about me. It’s just me that know you and I think that’s enough for me. Enough for me who got strangled with this chain called night that thwarts me to get closer to you.
For these two years, I’ve been watching over you from the darkness of the night, always from the darkness. I saw you when you’re smiling together with that person, saw you when you’re crying over that person after having fight, saw you when you’re walking alone after whole day working, saw you when you’re running after your bus, saw you when you’re going to your favorite restaurant, saw you when you’re walking slowly to look at sunset. As for today, I also come to see you. It’s Friday night, so I guess that you will meet with that person as usual. Just as my guess, I see you walk down the path with that person, but you don’t go to the restaurant as usual, instead just sitting at bench near the bus stop together with that person. After few minutes having conversation, you’re running away leaving that person alone. As I follow you, I realize that you are crying. I’m surprised, I stop following you. I just don’t know what to do. I know that I have ever seen you crying before but this time it just feels different. I restrain myself to follow you any further.
The next night, I come again to see you, but to my surprise I can’t find you anywhere you usually go to. I go to all over places to find you, just to see you once again today. Finally, I see you in the same place yesterday when you’re having a chat with that person. I see you, once again, crying. Still, I don’t know why. What is the reason you cry? I just silently watch you cry until stop and start to walk to go home. The next night, yet again, you do the same thing. I still can’t understand what the reason beyond your sadness is. You do the same thing over and over every night until I realize that you haven’t met that person past few days. You were dumped. At the moment I realize it, I feel that I am such an idiot. Why can’t I realize it sooner? Why don’t I realize when you’re not meeting that person again after that day? I am really such an idiot. Next night, I will, for sure, approach you to soothe your grief.
This night is the time. I come to look for you and I can easily find you in the same place. I go toward you.
‘That’s red light there, you can’t across the street yet.’
I said that. You are ignoring me, but I don’t want to give up tonight.
‘Hey, what’s happen? You look unwell?’
You still walk away from me. Just for this time, I won’t stop.
‘Hey ojo-san, what’s happen? You could tell me anything.’
Suddenly you stop walking and turn around to face me. You see my face for a moment. I smile to you; then again I see your crying eyes. You come closer to me. I just stay still in front of you. Then, you hand reach my shoulder and along with it you place your head on my shoulder and I know, I just know it that you cry again on my shoulder. After your cry is calming down, I take you to your favorite restaurant and I pick your favorite table. On that table, you spill over all your sadness past these few days. When I look on clock, it’s already 3 AM. I must take you home before the sun rises. On the way to your house, sun is starting to rise. I must leave you now, but I can’t tell you the reason yet, so I say something to divert you and then leave.
Shortly after that, someone appears before me saying
‘Geneimaru, shishou summons you.’
Shishou? Summon me? Is he already knows what I’ve done? Anyway, I must see him right now. After few hours running through the gate, I finally come to this world again; the world where shishou create me and trained me.
‘Geneimaru.’
‘Yes, shishou.’
‘You still remember your oath before taking your job, right?’
‘Yes, shishou. To take control human’s soul without getting familiar with them.’
‘So, why are you getting familiar with human?’
‘….’ I can’t say anything.
‘And you still remember the consequences for breaching this oath?’
‘Yes, shishou. To pla….’
‘You may leave.’
‘Thank you, shishou.’
I guess, I can’t do anything for now. Shishou knows everything I’ve done. From next night I must not see you again. It’s not like I must obey what shisshou said, but it’s more like I can’t disobey Him who has created me from nothing. It just doesn’t feel right for me to disobey someone who created and nurtured me up until now. So, I think I’ll take that instrument again, the instrument that shishou taught me to play. I walk to where I used to sleep here and take the instrument, then back again to the world where you belong; the world where I can easily find emotions in every inches of its air; the world where, for the first time, I experienced emotion.
Next night, instead of looking for you, I come to the city park and play my instrument. It is the one and only song that I can play well. Although, I say I can play it well, it doesn’t mean that I can play it perfectly. Its sound gives me warm sensation when I play it, so whenever I play it, I get absorbed and forgetting everything else. Nice runaway I think. Come to my surprise when I’ve just finished my song, I see you in front of me with eyes full of tears. I can’t hold myself to not to come to you. I drag you to the nearest bench and say something to you to make you calm. In the end of conversation, you ask
‘Can we meet again tomorrow?’
I can’t say no to you. I can’t show rejection to you who come to me with eyes full of tears. I just can’t say no.
‘It’s alright. Same time and same place, okay?’
‘Okay.’
As promised, I meet you again next night and we are having conversation just like the first time we met with different topic, of course. Every time I end our meeting, you ask the same question over and over again and I just can’t say no in front of you. Thus, we meet every night for about 2 weeks until then shishou summons me again.
‘I recall that you remember your oath, Geneimaru.’
‘Yes, shishou.’
‘So, why are you still getting familiar with human?’
‘….’
Still, I can’t say anything. I know that shishou has already given me chance back then when he summoned me for the first time.
‘I recall that you still remember the consequences also, Geneimaru.’
‘Yes, shishou. To place myself directly under the sun.’
‘Do it! Before I force you to do it.’
‘Yes, shishou.’
Shishou leave me with no other choice. I must do the consequences, but before that I want to meet you once again and tell you everything. I don’t want to leave you without trace, without knowing who I am actually, without knowing anything as if I was lying to you about my identity.
Tonight, I must do it. In that case, I must take you to the place in which sunshine can directly hit me. And, the most appropriate place for that is beach. In that case, I’m taking you there tonight, but it is not as easy as when I’m planning it. I can’t tell you the moment we meet. So, I will wait until the right time to come. After few conversations, the time has come; I’ll take you to beach and say it.
‘I want to tell you something about myself.’
‘I’ve watching over you for couple years. I do care about you and I’ve already known your problem on the day we met, so I was forcing you to tell me.’
‘I knew it was my mistake and selfishness to approach you that time. You know, we are different, I’m not a human.’
‘I know you can’t believe it, but you’ll see when the sun rise.’
Right after that, the sun rises. I feel burning sensation on my whole body, I want to scream from the pain, but I also do not want to show this pain to you in the last moment we meet and then it starts. I can’t feel anything any longer from my feet and gradually goes up as the sun rises higher. Unconsciously, I say
‘In the end…I’m just the night that admires the day.’
Well, it’s time for me to go now, but I see you are going to cry again. I can’t help myself but to pull my last energy together into words.
‘Live on…Sayako. Live your life to the fullest instead of me who got strangled on this cursed chain of fate.’
I hope that my words reach you.
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Setelah lama ga ngepost, akhirnya ada niat juga......
Oya, ini lanjutan dari side story sebelumnya
